Mightier Than This Blog
Daily/weekly musings from Toronto reporter Jenny Yuen. Get the scoop by reading more about her escapades while writing about the news.Thursday, August 21, 2008
(Previously posted on Facebook):Photo: Jack Boland/Sun Media
Wicked Club: A Sea of Fragrant Balls
...Not that I was close enough to sniff them for a fact, but when I finally ventured upstairs that's all I could really detect. Fragrant balls and lube.
This is my own experience at Wicked Club.
But maybe I should rewind four hours to when I first arrived to Wicked Club, an on-premise swingers club at Queen and Ossington that had opened up several years ago.
I had interviewed club owners Aurora and Shlomo Benzion a few days previous and asked to check out the second and third floor VIP areas to get "a taste" of what really goes on during the weekend.
So Sun photog Jack Boland met me around 10 p.m. Saturday night and for the next half-hour or so shot the owners with a few bar hostesses dressed in schoolgirl lingerie, all posing in provocative ways.
Jack left shortly after we headed down to the dance floor area leaving a friend Yee-Guan I had met there to fend for ourselves. Even though it was "barely legal schoolgirl night," there weren't a lot people aside from myself dressed up. I had dusted off my Japanese Battle Royale school uniform, which hadn't been worn since I hugged Elvira, Mistress of the Dark a few comic-cons ago, tossed on a pair of ballet slippers and off I went.
YG and I nervously sat at a rectangular booth with another couple who looked like newbies. We tried making some small talk with them, but we got the sense they weren't really into it so we left them alone. The girl, dressed in a clingy miniskirt, was definitely more into the scene than her boyfriend.
As the night progressed, the dance floor of the club became more crowded. Some obviously regular ladies took the plunge and entered the circular caged area in the centre and like a conga line, the three women squished and grinded up against each other like it was the rinse cycle.
Around midnight, Shlomo tells me, "It's too early - they need to get in the mood first" before going up to the VIP floors.
Shlomo and Aurora would keep checking up on us no matter where we'd move. It made me feel more awkward about being there since the club scene isn't really my thing and nor is the music and dancing. I kept thinking, where can rock and roll nerds get their 'swing' on?
Most of the people were in their 30s or 40s. Granted, there may have been a few people in their mid to late 20s and a couple in their 50s. The majority were couples, as there were restrictions of single men coming in alone. Single women are always welcome, on the other hand.
At about 1:15 a.m. - after we witness a woman dressed in a cop uniform perform a topless lapdance for her husband in the booth next to us - the VIP floor is finally ready for us. Everyone is liquored up nicely and horny.
There is a strict policy of towels and lingerie so YG and I changed in the communal locker room area. I turned out to be the only one wearing lingerie - a purple corset - while everyone opted for the easy access route. Made sense - I didn't plan on partaking myself that evening.
No, I was just there "to watch."
Turns out, lots of other people felt the same as me.
On the second floor, there is a bar leading into several couches, including one shaped as big like Meg Ryan's lips. Aurora was at the bar and began talking to me about dress codes and clientele. I was listening, but my eyes kept wandering to the couple going at it in the corner, the man jackhammering his partner as if the rapture was steadfastly approaching.
"Uh huh...well, I think we're going to check out the bed over there."
The "bed" is more like a rectangular area made up of several mattresses pushed together. There might've been at least 20 people there, some couples, others three and foursomes. My view was of a row of ass and balls. Most of the men were down on all fours pleasuring their wives and girlfriends or someone else's wife/girlfriend. I took a sip of water.
To my left, we notice the same couple we thought were newbies before are involved in other shenanigans. It appeared the girlfriend was blowing this one guy with another chick while her boyfriend watched. We saw them again later and she was getting fingered by another dude while her boyfriend watched. Who would've guessed - her boyfriend was into it after all.
The second floor also has a jacuzzi and shower as well. I watched this dude soap himself up and wished it were Robert Downey Jr. instead.
The 3rd floor is more of what goes on on the 2nd floor but better. It's dimmer, tinged by red lights and when you first reach the top of the stairs, there is a sex swing. When we arrived, a couple was using it while two other couples watched and masturbated. As the swing couple came, they got a standing ovation.
The wife dressed up as Bad Cop took the mainstage bed and fucked her husband while voyeurs watched through the two-way mirrors in the adjacent rooms.
Down the hall are a series of rooms, some with sliding doors, some without. If the door was open, you could peek in and watch what was going on. If it was closed, it was for privacy. I only saw one door closed 80% of the way for the hour I was there.
All the beds were shared by one or more couples who loved being watched or maybe just didn't care. Some people even used the small table in the hall as leverage as they fucked. It was sort of sensory overload. I hadn't ever seen anyone bang in front of me in person unless I was involved - and with watching porn, it's different, so that took a little time to get used to. But it didn't take long.
I was intrigued and turned on watching this four-way happen up in the "dungeon area," which looks more like a lion's cage, anyway. One girl was going down on the other as their boyfriends jerked off. Next to them, a woman rode her partner hard and whimpered and moaned as he went faster. All around me there was something going on.
A couple from Hamilton were also watching the scene. The girl, wearing a black bra, and I start chatting. "So is it your first time here?" she asks. "Yes, it's pretty crazy." "Do you want to go up there and play?" "I'm...just here to watch." She's very cool with my limits. "Hey, that's totally fine."
That's the one thing I got the vibe of - even in the dance area - swingers seem to be very easy-going.
There were condoms in baskets, though I can't recall anyone using them. But who knows if it was bareback sex with their own partner - you can't really tell.
There was some comedy throughout the night, though.
As I was watching four couples all bent over in all kinds of uncomfortable positions, a man peeks in with me. "My girlfriend...her shoes are in there still."
I tell him, "Go for it. Just climb over people." He does but gives up after a few seconds of sifting through people mid-coitus. He exits, smiles at me and shrugs. I tell him: "Get it later...they'll still be there."
Other than that, I wasn't propositioned and I never had my personal space invaded. This kind of thing never really seemed taboo to me. And after a while, it just reminded me of a nudist colony, only people commune to have sex. I went to a Cuddle Party a few years ago and the "puppy piles" they do where everyone lies on top of each other - being at Club Wicked sort of reminded me of that.
I'd probably recommend this place for the curious swinger. However, I doubt Shlomo would've let me in through the door and upstairs - I doubt I'd fit in their standard of beauty just by the way they were looking YG and I up and down.
I will admit that when I got home, I did maul my boyfriend thinking about the foursome I witnessed hours before. But the stuff that went on in our bedroom seemed way hotter than my experience at Wicked Club.
But that's just me.
Sex abounds in T.O.Flourishing swingers scene gets T.O. council hot & bothered
JENNY YUEN Sun Media
PHOTOS: JACK BOLAND/Sun Media
Inside Club Wicked's "exhibitionist room" a tanned blond wearing aviator shades and a tight, cropped police uniform straddles her husband.
A dim bulb in the sconce lamp over the bed bathes her in red, wraps around her curves. The humidity of the place smells of scented lube and sweat. The pounding bass from Euro Dance music is leaking from invisible speakers. It almost overpowers the screams and whimpers. Almost.
The blond smiles slyly at the two-way mirror, at the towel-clad couples in the other room who are watching.
LATEST TARGET
A curious couple peeks through beads on the doorway. "Can we play?" they ask, and wait for a nod before hopping onto the bed.
Beside them, a window overlooking the traffic and bustle along Queen St. W.
Swingers are the latest target of Toronto council.
"We're not into legislating morality between consenting adults," insists Etobicoke-Lakeshore Councillor Peter Milczyn. "It's when you're creating those establishments in residential communities then it's set up as a conflict."
At a council meeting in June, 33 city councillors voted in favour of a motion to close two Etobicoke swinger clubs -- Club Hers and Menage a Quatre.
The two clubs are part of this city's flourishing swingers scene. From clubs to cruises to condo parties, Toronto has become a swinger's destination, eclipsing Montreal as Canada's swingers capital, those in the scene suggest.
Busloads of American swingers travel here, because it is legal in this country for consenting adults to practice open, explicit sex acts within the relatively public confines of a club.
However, the same city fathers who preach diversity, who embrace immigrants, multiculturalism, Toronto's large and well-established lesbian and gay community have difficulty with swingers.
Etobicoke-North Councillor Rob Ford, who supported the motion to close the clubs, said he doesn't feel swingers clubs reflect what Toronto stands for, even if they do attract tourism. Yet, it was only last year when the city invested $150,000 for racy ads as part of their Live With Culture campaign to boost tourism.
"Families and people like that," Ford said this week. "They're the ones who bring the money to the city."
"Toronto being sex capital of the world wouldn't bode too well with tourists in general," he said.
This fall, the city manager will begin work in consultation with the police, planning department, public health, fire services and municipal licensing and standards to oust the swinger clubs.
"I don't think our staff know what's going on here and I want to find out and get these shut down," local Councillor Mark Grimes previously told the Sun. "I'm hearing from the community that single men are getting out of cabs, there's prostitutes loitering around the area, they're picking them up and going into these clubs."
'GLORY HOLE'
There is certainly a lot going on inside the clubs.
On a Saturday night at Wicked, it looks like a scene from the movie Eyes Wide Shut, but without the masks.
Husbands and wives begin kissing wildly and hands start to wander. Some change partners and others opt for the anonymity of "glory hole" booths. On the top floor, a hallway fan buzzes to dry off the sweat. There is chatter on the patio where towelled and naked bodies go for a post-sex cigarette. There isn't even a tinge of pushiness in the air as the couples walk hand-in-hand and climb into bed with four other couples too busy to notice their presence. Between the moans of ecstasy, you can hear fiendish giggles.
But "Toronto the Good" has always struggled with morality issues. City and law enforcement officials have at various times over past decades cracked down on strip clubs, massage parlours, prostitution and public sex, particularly the kind practised by gay men and lesbians.
Most infamously, however, Toronto is known for the gay bathhouse raids in 1981 that saw police swarm into clubs where gay men were having open, consensual sex.
As much as the gay community was outraged by the "Gestapo" police, as gay rights activist George Hislop referred to them at the time, the public was equally shocked.
HEATED DEBATE
The raids prompted heated debate and self-examination about human rights and tolerance and the protests that erupted in response to the raids eventually gave way to Toronto's Pride Parade that sees the mayor, police chief and councillors participate.
"You look at the very few raids that have been done in places and so-called bathhouses in recent years so obviously there's a much more permissive attitude on the part of politicians. The public interest groups that support these places are much more vocal and politically connected," said Staff-Sgt. Al Verwey of 13 Division. "There is generally an attitude that if the public isn't complaining about it very loudly, the police aren't going to enforce it very rigorously."
There is some irony, then, in the city's current confrontation with swingers clubs.
"People always get bent out of shape when heterosexuals want to have sex, and I don't get that," said Peter Bochove, owner of gay bathhouse Excess Spa on Carlton St. and an activist in the 1981 raids. "If everyone going into this club knows exactly what they're going into and kids aren't walking by giant signs, then no one's being harmed."
Elizabeth Abbott, a celibacy history research associate at University of Toronto, describes Toronto as a "formerly repressed city" where the 1970s finally happened and many immigrants moved in.
People are gravitating towards swinging, Abbott notes, because there is too much stress on staying with one person and the element of curiosity is overpowering.
"The city isn't suspicious anymore, it rigorously loves diversity," she said. "We're a changed culture where it's now seen as wrong to criticize different lifestyles."
And the bottom line: Swingers clubs are legal.
LEGAL SINCE 2005
The Supreme Court of Canada made them so in 2005, ruling that two Montreal swingers clubs that allowed sex on the premises between consenting adults did not violate decency laws because it didn't harm society.
Club Wicked has a doorman who not only keeps out the young, impressionable and curious, but turns away those who don't meet the club's standards of physical attractiveness.
Aurora Benzion and her husband Shlomo told the Sunday Sun their club allows experienced, curious adults to indulge in sex with other couples in a safe environment. But at the same time, they've built a "positive" relationship with their community.
"It's better than a nightclub because they're not drug addicts or ... long lineups or people who make a lot of noise," Shlomo said.
Club Wicked evolved from the "sex mansion parties" the couple ran in 2003. They moved to a space at Richmond and Church Sts. a year later but found it too cramped and, in 2006, landed at Ossington Ave. and Queen St. W.
Their regulars come weekly from all over the GTA, Hamilton, Oakville and Niagara Falls. The owners boast 30,000 members on their website worldwide. Tourists from Boston, Chicago, Tampa and Germany have all come here to swap partners and the Benzions are organizing some buses from Michigan to come to Wicked.
"We're becoming a destination for liberated Americans," Aurora said. "I don't think they can find this kind of entertainment in their country anymore. Our clientele is very upscale."
The higher echelon of society -- lawyers and doctors -- as well as regular blue-collar folks can be found within the walls of Wicked on any given night. Though, to make it to the upstairs Shlomo's Penthouse area where all the naughty stuff goes on you have to fall into the Benzions' ideal of "fit and attractive."
"Going on the main floor doesn't give you entry to the penthouse," Shlomo said.
Those who fit the standard exchange their clothes for a towel and a key to a locker. Lingerie is also permitted. Riding a feverish wave of alcohol mixed in with hours of grinding with old and new partners on the dance floor downstairs has put them in the right mood. And when people get up to the on-premise VIP area, the inhibitions slide off with the towels.
Patrons walk down the hall past a giant lip-shaped couch to a rectangular area composed of several mattresses pushed together where at least a dozen couples can "play" together in a larger setting.
Aurora suggests swingers clubs are part of a trend that is seeing more people explore their sexuality. Many got into the "lifestyle" (although some prefer to be called "hedonists") because it allows them to explore their fantasies together without cheating.
"The younger people are less worried about what will people say," she said. "People who are over 40 want me to blur their faces if I take party pics of them but those in their 20s and 30s are fearless."
Ruthy Muller of Happy Hedonist and Club Prive, an off-premise Mississauga swingers club in business for the past 14 years, said that although swinging may be more popular, the number of swingers clubs in Toronto hasn't increased all that much.
An online search for such clubs in the area reveals about 27 but a number are transitory, opening and closing within months.
"The younger generation doesn't really need (clubs) because things are so open," Muller said.
Swinging legend has it that the lifestyle began during the World War II among the United States military. It was built on the idea that because of the high mortality rate of pilots, if they ever crashed, another pilot would care for his wife emotionally and sexually. In more recent decades, swinging came about with the sexual revolution.
But the traditional 1970s perception of "wife swapping" isn't what the clubs are about. Clients range from voyeurs and exhibitionists to those who have public sex with their partners or indulge in threesomes, foursomes or orgies.
Robert Pollara, "the new kid on the block" in the city's swinging scene, came from Florida to Toronto to open Menage a Quatre, another on-premise club, in June.
"I don't think anybody in the neighbourhood had any idea that we existed nor would they have until Mark Grimes got on TV and started ranting and raving," Pollara said. "I've been doing this for 10 years now and with the '90s and the help of the Internet, swinging really became pervasive."
"It hasn't gotten to the extent in Europe where there are 60 clubs, but the baby boomers have hit that point where they're looking for something more to do."
Swingers clubs follow a strict code, though it's not necessary under the Supreme Court decision. Discreet signage is more of a courtesy for the community.
SIGN WAIVER
The etiquette is that all play must be between consenting adults and a waiver is signed by all members coming to the on-premise area that they understand what the club is. The waiver also doubles as proof of membership in case any prostitution accusations arise.
"There's not very much the city can or should do," Excess bathhouse owner Bochove suggests, arguing the gay community experience shows the Supreme Court decision trumps anything municipalities can attempt to do, including public health inspections or zoning.
"But at least then people can sue the city," he said.
Even city officials have trouble with where the lines are.
Mark Dimuantes, Toronto's municipal licensing and standards senior policy officer, said swingers clubs don't require a licence but added "it probably wouldn't be a good idea for the city to licensed them because then they become an accepted land-use."
Brampton's Club Eros founder Ron Michaels, who operates the longestrunning swingers club in the country at 36 years and the third-longest in North America, suggests whether the city likes them or not, swingers are here to stay.
"It used to be more of an underground phenomenon," Michaels said. "I don't think there are any more swingers now than 20 or 30 years ago; they're just more open about it."
---
WHAT'S LEGAL AND NOT ...
BODY RUB PARLOURS
Legal, but ...
The city's municipal licensing and standards division said there are currently 25 body rub parlours that have operating licences. Both the owner and masseurs must have their own licences. Toronto Police said there must not be any prostitution on premises including topless, nude, bodyslide, reverse bodyslide, oral, intercourse or manual release. Massage room doors have to be unlocked.
STRIP CLUBS
Legal. Like body rub parlours both the owner/operator and dancers must have licences through MLS. If a dancer touches or allows a client to touch her -- even through clothing -- the dancer and establishment could both be charged under the bawdy house legislation. Municipal Licensing and Standards said the "lap dances can happen but there's not supposed to be any physical contact."
SWINGERS CLUBS
Legal. In 2005, the Supreme Court of Canada said activity at swingers clubs "can hardly be supposed to jeopardize a society as vigorous and tolerant as Canadian society."
Most club owners will keep a list of members and, be discreet with their storefront and make sure everyone who enters the club knows what they're getting into -- possible consensual sex behind closed doors.
GAY AND LESBIAN BATHHOUSES
Legal. Peter Bochove of Spa Excess won a court case against the city of Toronto in 1988 when he found out they weren't renewing leases for bathhouses. There are no restrictions in zoning because they're not classed as "adult entertainment" so the city leaves charges in the hands of police under the Criminal Code for lewd activity.
"We've had a tremendous amount of time in court and there's a lot of things that were done over the last 25 years," Bochove said. "What grey areas that remain are in the common bawdy house laws, which are on the books and it's still possible to go to court for those charges, but it's not going to go anywhere with the Supreme Court of Canada."Labels: city council, legal, public, sex, swingers, toronto
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